Why ?

We were sitting with our grandson in hospital as he underwent his latest Chemo sessions. He was having to take his anti sickness medicines. He has grown to really hate them, and while he does take them, it’s a personal battle to overcome his aversion to them. 

His cry out “Why” resonated very deeply. 

Why does this six now seven year old have to go though all this medication, injections, radio therapy, chemo, a kidney removed WHY, WHY, WHY! 

Any one diagnosed with cancer asks ‘why’ as do we all. But people have commented "but why a child of his age?" The whole “it’s not fair” is aired, and we certainly feel that, even though we know cancer is no respecter of age or circumstances. 

Why, amongst other shouts, is most certainly the cry of the Psalmist. 

So often when it’s all just a mess why is shouted, and most certainly is accompanied with a lot of complaining to God and blaming of God. 

Yes God can cope with our anger and our blaming of God which is why the Psalmist so often just lets it all out. Its good therapy like tears at times or a really good loud scream. God is a safe place to do such things. But still we want some kind of answer that makes sense and we don’t get that.

The issue of suffering and pain is a long standing challenge to those of us who believe in God, and a loving God at that. Mind you it’s a struggle regardless of belief.

Over many years sitting at the bedside of people in hospital you know when they are in pain and at times an awareness they are dying. Every individual has different ways of coping. Each has what appears to be a different capacity to bear discomfort and pain. Yes, drugs well used do help, but can for some mean a loss of awareness of what’s going on around them and their ability to interact.

To be human, a product of the evolutionary process that God brought into being, means to be vulnerable. There is no neat ‘three score years and ten’ lived without anguish and then you pop your clogs. Somehow the grittiness of life gives life its savour, its uniqueness, its sense of being precious. How many times have I at an Ash Wednesday service marked the foreheads of people and said “From dust you came and to dust you will return”. It’s really quite a chilling comment in the starkness of its reality. In other words “your going to die so think hard how your are to live”. The edge maybe taken off the words for some by the reality of a faith that believes death is not the end. But yes we will die and thats quite stark. Sometimes we are in pain physical and mental, and for some spiritually. This is life given with all its fragility that we might live life to the full in relationship with others and all of creation. Yes for some that will bring pain in various forms. For others they appear to experience little pain, and maybe as for some, they just have a major heart attack in their sleep and die. Oh how many times have I heard people say thats the way I want to go. Well me too!! 

For those around however, while taking some comfort that their loved one died that way, they didn’t have time to prepare for it, and so relatives and friends are shocked, upset and many suffer the pain of their loss, “I wish I could have told them…..”

I guess if you are reading this you will see I don’t have the answer to why, and thats being honest. To claim some neat answer is to devalue, and even deny the pain and suffering of many.

So no neat answers from me. All I can share is a helpful song from ‘Fischy Music’ that speaks of Jesus’s agony. The lines that always resonate for me are, “he knew where he came from and where he was going” It does not remove his pain, his suffering, his sense of isolation, but somehow the bigger backcloth helps.

I believe all life comes out of that which we call God, we are all unique, and to that same God we will return. In the end the knowing that where we came from and destination we go to is the same, somehow it works for me to cope, to bear the pain, and to enjoy the delights of life. I still want to cry out "why" about my grandson and I do, but I reckon that "why" is good enough.