Little Boxes - What makes community?

Little boxes on the hillside
Little boxes made of ticky-tacky
Little boxes on the hillside
Little boxes all the same
There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one
And they're all made out of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same

And the people in the houses
All went to the university
Where they were put in boxes
And they came out all the same
And there's doctors and lawyers
And business executives
And they're all made out of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same

And they all play on the golf course
And drink their martinis dry
And they all have pretty children
And the children go to school
And the children go to summer camp
And then to the university
Where they are put in boxes
And they come out all the same

And the boys go into business
And marry and raise a family
In boxes made of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same
There's a pink one and a green one
And a blue one and a yellow one
And they're all made out of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Malvina Reynolds

I wonder if you recall this song? If so it probably reveals your age.

Having moved onto a housing estate built around the late 1960's and early 70's I often think of this song. The houses kind of all look the same but clearly over the years have been altered to make them larger to create more family space. Conservatories abound, though many are being replaced by small extensions, probably because conservatories are useless a lot of the time being either too hot or too cold. Yet for all the alterations as you walk the estate you get this sense of "they all look just the same". Yes some are better cared for. Many people are bothered about their gardens, though quite a few at the front have been dug up to make more space to park cars. Yet still they look the same. Of course knowing where people came from or what they do is another matter. 

Having recently been used to neighbours who we chatted to freely over the years and who brought us food it's a very different setting. Hopefully as the months and years pass we will get to know some neighbours really well. Though as one potential builder for our extension (he comes from Barnsley btw)  said his wife even now after many years found it strange that people didn't chat like they do up north. 

Well the dog walkers have been friendly as we worked on the front garden but getting a sense of place and identity will clearly take time. Even the new housing that is appearing all over Banbury has a sense of little boxes, very small gardens, and they all look just the same, only newer. 

All this begs the question for me 'What gives such estates any sense of being community'? We no longer have the usual places of encounter such as the schools where we would take our children and end up talking to people. Or taking a daughter swimming or to gym club. All these things helped to give a sense of belonging, of community. 

Having lived and worked in the inner city of Sheffield, an urban conurbation of Stoke on Trent, the very middle class suburban estate of Highlands in Leigh on Sea or the market town of St Ives in Cambridgeshire I can identify them as places and communities. The sense of belonging was created partly through the children, partly because of neighbours and of course by the nature of being a Methodist Minister. Be it sitting on school governing bodies, taking assemblies, helping with others to set up a branch of Cruse or training Cruse counsellors, involvement with local council of churches, funerals, weddings, baptisms and so much more. Relationships were formed and often without realising it you suddenly found you belonged. Some of that was because you were recognised through the dog collar, much of it though was over time as relationships formed. A period now of not being recognised or on show is very enjoyable.

In moving we arrive in a new place without any role or the usual ways of connecting and it is fascinating. We find ourselves like others living in a little box, coming and going, and who really notices? Yet we take a grandson to preschool, attend a nativity, and small conversations happen. These are facilitated because we are the grandparents and we speak to our daughter's friends. We found a church community and suddenly names and peoples histories are shared and you begin to have a sense of community. It's a slow process but vital.

One of the things I believe many come to realise is that there is never just one community in any place. Rather an area or community is made up of different communities. Sometimes like overlapping circles they touch, sometimes they stand alone. 

In preparing to retire I made a list of possible things I might get involved in. From reconnecting with the important work of Cruse the bereavement organisation, school governor, an associate group of the Iona Community of which I am a part, to perhaps joining a book club. Oh the list has grown and I am sure will continue to do so. But, and its a big But, I have promised myself not to commit to anything until a year has passed, and I feel truly rested from 38 years of active ministry. Yet I know that I will want to engage in some way so to be part of communities in this new area and that it is important to do so. Discerning what that will be is key. It will mean that when I know what to get involved in I will seek to play my part and put something into that community. It will be all about relationships.

I reflect on this partly because listening to the news, watching the tweets of others on Twitter, there appears to be a tension once more around what it means to be belong to a community. 

Ten years ago our NHS was a world leading health care provider. Ten years of cuts, selling off bits of its work to the private sector, has seen the erosion of its work that it is now in peril. Probably more than any other area of public service, the NHS highlights the tension in our society. It is between those who understand and believe that when you are a part of a community, you buy into it, so that you and  all might have access to health care, as opposed to those who think you should buy what you need when you need it. The latter view is all very well if you are wealthy. Wealth while not buying you good health can buy you access to health care, just as it means switching on the heating system and not having to really worry about the bills. 

When a community/society becomes so uneven in its distribution of wealth it creaks under the strain. Food banks were meant to be a temporary measure. They appear now to be a  means by which the government and society can pass its responsibility to charity. This  I believe is a sign of the erosion of being a community. While it's wonderful the way people donate to food banks and people staff them is a sign of hope, the fact we have them is an indication of our failure as a community/society to enable people not to be dependent on the handouts from others. 

In the background, almost unnoticed, as people struggle just to survive in the sixth richest economy in the world:- 

• We have the creation of fear and division with  a renewal of lies about those who seek asylum. 
• We have leading government politicians blaming nurses for our woes and trying to incite an 'us and them' so as to divide and rule.
•  We have potential changes to our voting system with ID being required, but created in such a way as to disempower the young and poor, a complete distraction when we have no history of voter fraud. 
• We have laws being enacted that limit legitimate protest. 

And all the time a government that never tells the truth and which will not allow itself to be held accountable by parliament. This is of course ironic considering many brexit voters were told it would see a return of power to parliament. This and much more that has taken place over the last twelve years, has shifted our society, a community of communities, and made it more divided. 

Communities of faith at their best highlight our interdependence and that the culture of individualism, personal wealth and materialism stands opposed to this. 

Being part of a Christian community is to be invited by Jesus into that community. It means not choosing who is in and who is not. A follower of Jesus comes to understand over the years how inclusive that really is. 'For God loves everyone without exception'. This God intended interdependence is not just about one society but embraces the world. It is highlighted by Climate change 'The key issue", and this will only become more apparent if we continue to fail to address it together. Saving the planet battles against the selfishness and individualism that permeates our world. The rich have become richer and they are not going to give that wealth and power up easily for all their fine words. Many of us who may not be extremely wealthy often have more than we need and we too worry about giving it up just in case. But as a phrase from the past puts it 'We need to live more simply that others may simply live' 

The NHS was not welcomed by all when it was founded but came to be acknowledged rightly so as core to our society. Health care free at the point of delivery. It takes away the fear of not being able to afford it. For it to be effective it relies on our corporate/community willingness to all pay for it, so that when it is required it is there for anyone. There will be many who may never have need of it or very little, while others because of circumstances in life will. I would rather never use it, but pay my taxes in the knowledge that others who do will be provided for. I think this is part of what it means to be community. 

If we are made to feel isolated from one another by fear and a way of living that is just about the individual, then it is like living in little boxes, where our circle never overlaps. Sometimes people use three rings overlapping each other to indicate strength and  unity. Some have used the design to symbolise the Trinity. So I await the places and people where I will overlap with finding I trust strength and unity while praying that the society of this country will rediscover its Strength and Unity by truly being Community and holding all things in common.

God,
Father, Son and Holy Spirit
One in perfect community
teach us how to live in community.

Help us we pray

to learn to hold in common 

all that we have,
that all in any need

may receive

with the generosity 

of God given Love.

Give us the courage

to allow our lives

to overlap with others

especially those who are different

that we might come

to embrace difference

and be enriched.

God

come to us again

to save us from ourselves

to save our planet

and to make us one

with you

in a perfect community. Amen        (c) Mark Goodhand 20th December 2022